Let me tell you something about Irene. We were best friends in middle school. I know, right? It's so embarrassing. I don't even... Whatever. So then in eighth grade, Katrina hit, and Irene was like, weirdly jealous of her. Like, if I would rate her a 1, and I’d rate Katrina a 3, she'd be like, "Why am I rated so low?" And I'd be like, "Why are you so obsessed with me?" So then, for my birthday party, which was an all-category 3 and up party, I was like, "Irene, I can't invite you, because you’re category 1." I mean I couldn't have a category 1 at my party. There were gonna be storms wiping out entire cities there. I mean, right? She was a CATEGORY 1. So then her mom called my mom and started yelling at her, it was so retarded. And then she dropped out of school because no one would talk to her, and she came back in August, and now I guess she’s destroying the entire East Coast.
just moved into my new suite at school and it is cool as fuck. i can’t wait for everyone to move in because it’s going to be a complete shit show in the best of ways. i’ve already popped a bottle of wine and it’s clearly the only way to kick off the first night at school.